New Intro to Me.

I'm nerdy and proud of it. My name is Jack Thomas. Not too exciting. I lead a pretty ordinary life, by day. Did you get excited for a minute there, thinking I have some alter ego at night? Ha...fooled you. The cake is a lie. I'm still boring, plain, goofy, funny-looking, socially inept Jack at night. I don't like to talk about myself, but I guess I have to for this English assignment. So welcome to my nerdy funderland.

Woooooooo! Party! Not really. I don't go to them. I don't get invited to them. I don't drink, well, I don't get wasted anyway. Instead, on a weekend night, you will find me sitting at home glued to my screens and talking to my cyberfriends. Call of Duty drives my parents insane, but I spend a lot of time on it anyway. Minecraft, a sandbox building game, relaxes my brain after killing all of the people on Call of Duty. When my mom tells me to call someone, I always say “I don't feel the need for human interaction.” How many other teenagers would watch the Food Network instead of going out? Only socially awkward nerds like me.

Other kids just don't get me. My head is filled with useless junk which I spout off whenever it comes to mind whether it , did you know most cosmetic products are made with animals' fecal matter, makes sense or not. My friend always says, “You are the most random kid I know.” He also says, “You are so ADD,” which happens to be the truth. Most of my knowledge will have no relevance in day to day communication. I happen to know a lot, is alot one word or two?, about Greek mythology, which none of my friends care anything about. You should come spend a day in my nerdy brain.

To quote one of my music heroes, Burt Bacharach, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” You might ask, “How does any kid my age even know Burt Bacharach?” I'm a nerd who happens to like Austin Powers. “Yeah, baby, yeah....” I also listen to Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Les Mis, showtunes of all sorts (not gay!), Disney soundtracks (my all-time favourites), Elvis, Johnny Cash, Queen, Rush, Haddaway, Blue Oyster Cult, and many others. Popular kids would take my iPod, throw it on the ground, douse it with gasoline, light it on fire, shoot it with a high-powered rifle, and bury it. You won't find dubstep, hip hop, or rap on any of my playlists. Maybe this nerd is really an “old soul” who was born in the wrong generation.

I'm nerdy and proud of it. I like Drama. I think Shakespeare is an OK guy. I'm a techie. I quote Spongebob. I watched The Simpson's Movie so many times that the owner of Goderich Convenience Store gave me a copy for free. I love to skip, with a rope and down hallways (still not gay)! I walked around Bradford at our Sears Festival regional level dressed in a suit with a double-breasted jacket, matching dress pants, newsboy cap, and shiny shoes. I asked for cufflinks and a fedora for my sixteenth birthday. I have a little bit of astigmatism in my left eye. And, when I'm bored and alone, I either talk to myself, mentally write a script for a play (who needs paper?), or conduct an imaginary orchestra (they are pretty good). Even my haircut is nerdy. It won't sit down. It won't co-operate. It has a mind of its own. I can blame my parents for this. Unfortunately, I got Mom's triple crown and Dad's double cowlick. It sucks!!!!!!!!

I'm not afraid to be myself. I believe other people hide their true nerdiness behind masks that make them popular in other ways. I just don't like wearing masks. They make my face itchy. So, ya. That's me. Yep.... Bye now.